Wednesday, April 6, 2011

reflections of life.

Seasons in my life come in clear, swift movement. They announce themselves with a trumpet, but leave me wondering the goal, the purpose of the lessons that I should learn. Typical seasons for me come with a move, new job, baby, something radical that most do a few times in their life, I do a couple times a year. Every time I know there's something amazing to glean, a treasure hidden in the field. I know this move to Eureka is setting us up for the next catalyst, that we've been strategically placed here. I have to admit that the first six months have felt like death. I also should admit that I feel a little as though I've died enough. That I've given myself over completely and that there really doesn't seem to be a lot left. Apparently there is. Because I've felt the sting so fully, robbing me of breath and leaving me striving for joy. There have been glimpses of encouragement, a hand that pulls my head up before I completely succumb, I've just been waiting to reach dry land. Because I feel as though I've been going around this multiple times I haven't wanted to blog the same thing over and over again. It's been hunker down, make it through. Just as I feel that I may be reaching the point of survival, the conviction of the Lord kicks in and I realize I've been just barely living when I've been called to thrive. That I am the planting of the Lord and I am to bloom where I am planted. It doesn't matter that I'm lonely, that my pattern of life is left jumbled as a 1000 piece puzzle, that I have become the complete center of my children's world, that I've forgotten which way is up. I am to live excellently. I am to push beyond the status quo and be IN my day, not simply survive them.
I tend to be someone who sees the greener grass and is in constant motion. I'm here now and while the grass is green I realize it's not to my taste, I'm ready to go again, move to the next place. But it's as though God's thumb is pressing into me telling me to receive all that he's called me to hear. Be the best me I can be when it feels everything is stacked against me. Learn how to breathe underwater and if I can't figure that out, find a way to live without breath. This life is not about me no matter how badly I want it to be. It's time to live without excuses, to pursue and push my children and myself deeper. To not only be all that we can be, but be the best at it. To practice our vision and equip ourselves for destiny.
I've found myself on a training ground. Only time will tell if I allow myself to be taught.


charis said...

i believe He has you there for a reason. hang in there. usually in the hardest times, that is where we meet Him in encounters.

Cherylyn Petersen said...

Thank you, charis!! I need that encouragement, knowing and accepting don't always go hand in hand. I'm trying. :)