Thursday, July 7, 2011

a lesson in identity.

Words are powerful.

I read a comment not too long ago where a parent said, 'who are we to tell our child whether they are gay or straight, boy or girl'.

And I thought I'd share my opinion with you.

Throwing out the homosexual issue, because I don't feel like going there, I thought I'd broach the boy/girl part of the comment. It may seem, in the ever increasing areas of gray in our world, that we should just love our children and let them form their own opinions and beliefs outside of our influence. This makes me think of the story about the king who wanted to know what the pure language of man was, so he took a group of children, allowed their base needs to be met, so that he could experience their form of purity. He was to be disappointed. They all died.

Perhaps this is an extreme case, but may I say the comment was an extreme comment. There is a thin line we walk as parents, between control and indifference. Our children will learn from us, whether we want them to or not. They will discern our bad from our good, judge us right or wrong, choose the path they want to take, based on what they have experienced from us.

Allowing your child to decide their identity in a world where everyone is trying to influence them, is similar to throwing a baby into shark infested waters and telling them to swim.

The end will be destruction.

There is a season in a child's life when they are desperately looking for answers. They aren't looking to peers or teachers, neighbors or heroes. Just you. And if you choose to be, you'll be the best influencer they will ever know. Teach them now, when they're a sponge, when everything you say soaks in and they can't wait to learn more.

The bible says to train your child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.

If we fail to teach our children, they will search until they find answers on their own. More than likely you'll be disappointed in the result.

I want to train my children to understand who they are. To know, not only that they are loved, but they are mighty in the kingdom of God. This may seem a difficult lesson, because I find I'm training negative behaviors pretty constantly. The goal is to never allow your child to believe THEY are bad when they hit, steal, scream or any number of negative actions I find in ALL young people. But to speak truth over them. I often tell Judah that he is kind, so why would he hit, it's not WHO he is.

Another fabulous phrase from the bible, is that the power of life and death are in the tongue.

Let's just think about that for a minute. LIFE and DEATH. The SPOKEN word. Now, how are we talking to our kids. What are we SPEAKING over them.

This may seem like the most basic of lessons, but according to the comment I read, one that parents are missing.

It is our job, our role as parents to train our children in their identity. At their core, will be whether they are good or bad, a boy or a girl. Who better, than me, to teach my daughter that not only is she a girl, but that she is fearfully and wonderfully made. Confusion can only set in when clarity is not established.

Therefore, start teaching your kids now, who they are. Speak it over them constantly. They are good, they are loved, they are a boy/girl. Declare their destiny. If you can't see the amazing person they are, in their moments of weakness and self doubt, they won't be able to see it either.

As we love and teach our children outside of judgement and anger, they will grow to be the purity, not only we long to see, but that which the world is so desperately seeking as well.