Friday, May 3, 2013

a little secret

Hello.  I have a secret.  It is a good secret.  A happy little something, that I know.  It's about you.  Yep, you.  You are now probably thinking how impossible this is, I don't know you, how could I know anything about you.  But, I do.  You probably need to know it, too.

You are beautiful.
You are talented.
You are amazing.
You have something to offer that no one else in the whole world can do.

Want to know the very sad thing about this?  You probably don't know this to be true or you don't believe it.

That makes me want to cry.  In fact I could fill a whole pot of tear water tea, just thinking of how little you know of yourself.  How carefully you avoid seeing the beauty that dwells inside.

There are so many things that hide you from yourself.  Little lies people have told you, careless words that drove like an arrow into your heart and repeat back like a broken record.  Images you've seen and deemed yourself less than.

And I can bet that you have a list of 'if onlys' walking with you through your day.

If only I looked like that girl, then my life would be perfect.
If only I had finished school, or picked that degree, everything would be better.
If only I lost 100lbs, 50lbs, 5lbs, then I would feel good about myself.
If only I had more self control.
If only my parents had loved me.
If only my life had been different.
If only I had been born someone else.

Oh heartbreak and anger!!  Every single 'if only' I listed is a lie.  It's not true.  You can enjoy every moment of your life, right now!!  But I can't make you.  I can't whisper in your ear when you catch your reflection "you're beautiful".  I can't stand over your shoulder while you're taking a test and remind you "you're smart".  I can't stand like your trainer when you get on the scale and explain that "your weight does not define you".

I have a feeling that you are doing plenty of whispering of your own.  I bet when you see your face,  you wish you were prettier, if you just had a different nose.  I have a feeling that when you can't remember a question on a test you chastise yourself for being stupid.  I guarantee that when you get on the scale and you've gained a pound you berate yourself for being fat and lacking control.

And the cycle continues.  You go round and round wishing and feeling mad at yourself, because the worst thing you could do would not be to accept yourself for who you are, but to love yourself for all that you are.

If you took all the energy you spend trying to change yourself and just began to love yourself, I guarantee things would change.  Your life would shift.  You would find that elusive joy, that desperate sense of peace for which you long.

Since I know so much about you and you know so little.  I have a little job for you to do.  Tell yourself you're amazing.  Remind yourself that you are smart, and talented, and capable.  That you are the only you in all of the world and I'm so glad that you exist.  I am so thankful for you.  You bring something to this massive universe that would be like a black void if you weren't there to fill it.  You are the light and the joy and the smile and the beauty that you were created for.  No one else could take your place.

I hope today that you fill your spot with all of the love and the good that you can be.  I hope that you enjoy your moments.  And I hope that you hear my voice whispering, you've got this, you are so good at all you do.  I'm proud of you.

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