parenting.

Before you have children it can be such fun to quietly mock the new parents you find yourself around. Degrade them for their fails and wonder how such a simple task as parenting ones children can completely elude so many dim witted people. ***ahem.***

I remember thinking as I watched my sister and friends have children that there were certain things they did that I would NEVER do. And, I was not always so silent with my philosophies on parenting and again, I am so sorry for all of the stupid things I said. It is their grace that kept me from black eyes, for I surely deserved them.

And like all humble pie, when we find ourself walking in their shoes, let's just say I've eaten more than my fair share.

I didn't think that I would sleep with my children. I do, I have. I loooove it!! We are transitioning Avalyn out of our bed this week and can I just say, heartbreak! It is going to be such a new thing to cuddle with my husband, who is not a cuddler, poor guy, he's probably going to try and convince me to put the baby back in bed just so that he can have some space. We did this with Judah at this age and it worked incredibly well, he loves his bed. We practice attachment parenting, with our own twists. I'm sure I'll chat more about that at a different date.

I didn't think I would nurse for soooo long. Avi is also weaning and she just turned 19 months, gasp. Though hey, she's not 5! It's a lot of transition for this little lady and she has been amazing about it.

I didn't think I would care about what my kids eat. I didn't want to be one of those moms. I am. I absolutely care. We've gone off and on the gluten free/sugar free/dairy free diet many times the last year. Not in such a way that it is disruptive to my children, they don't even know they're being restricted. Candy is very rare as are cookies or any processed food. It's just junk, literally putting death into your body and people think you're odd because you don't want your kids to eat it. Okay, I did too. I was raised super restricted in regards to food and I don't want to do that to my kids. That's why I don't restrict when we're out or around other people, but at home, on my watch, they're getting good stuff. I will hopefully get even better at this. I've had my own food issues that make it difficult, but I'm excited to overcome them on my own and with my family. I will definitely talk more about that later. (I wish I were a health nut, I fantasize about it, just a little. I'm not, don't want it to sound like I am. I still have a love affair with red vines and coke. but. . . someday. I will be a health nut.)

I didn't think I would have a hard time with discipline. I do. Oh the stories I could tell. I remember when Judah was ten months old, thinking I've really got this mom thing down. Stupid thing to think, don't think that, even if your kid is 25, just be teachable. Pride goes before a fall and all that. I'm constantly learning and hugely desperate to be successful in this area. Because I want to give my kids every tool possible to allow them to do well in this life. Training and discipline are so important. Everyone has an opinion on how you should be doing it. But, really in my experience it's try, try and try again. Be clear, be consistent, lots of love and lots of grace. Because consistency is hard.

I didn't think parenting could be as hard as people say it is. It's harder actually and better than I could have imagined. We're moving swiftly through the toddler phase. And my heart is breaking that I didn't realize how quickly it would go.

It's like all the things in life, everyone can warn you, and yet you still have to find out for yourself. I have always been a person who has to see for themselves, and I think in some things that's really good, I'm believing this is a gift that someday I'll be super thankful for. So far, I've just had to say 'yep you were right' to all the people who gave me warnings. I am so thankful I live under grace. That my mistakes and sins were washed at the foot of the cross. I am so glad that my God loves me just the way I am. That he is proud of me and he thinks I'm doing great.